Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church (ekklesia) and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that He might present the church (ekklesia) to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church (ekklesia), because we are members of His body. Ephesians 5:25-30
(Note: “washing with the Word” the word ‘word’ used there is the Rhema definition. This is the specific personal Word of God spoken to the heart / soul of the individual. This obviously does not mean using the {Logos} Word (scriptures) as a weapon or bashing tool to belittle your partner because of your personal interpretation. The Rhema Word is from the love and heart of God to the individual. Ekklésia = an assembly, a (religious) congregation / this is NOT a physical building or meeting place but it is the actual members meeting together.)
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church (ekklesia), His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church (ekklesia) submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-24
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33
Who has the greater judgment in the end of all things before God? The one who has been given the responsibility from God to manage as His Son managed? Did Jesus submit to His Father in all things? Did Jesus give the Father the respect He was due? Did Jesus give His all for the Body of Christ? Did He love them when they were certainly ‘unlovely’ and betraying Him? Did Jesus forgive those who were treating Him with contempt and cowardice? Can any of this be done apart from the Spirit of God?
In the same manner of Jesus is the way we should be treating our marital partners. This obviously must be done through the wisdom and power of the Holy Spirit – because within our natural abilities we will ALWAYS run short of the mark God is asking of us. So what is the Spirit of God telling you about the areas that you need to improve in with your marital partner? First and foremost looking at your own personal responsibility and Godly love towards them in every area and circumstance. Is the Holy Spirit directing you in His fruit development (Galatians 5:22-23) in regards to all of your interactions, responses, and communication with your spouse?
The Spirit is to be our Guide and Teacher. As He will also convict you of the changes He wants to make within you. Are you submitting to the Holy Spirit? And actually DOING something about it? Are you asking Him for the the very personal and specific steps He wants you to take in regards to your marriage? Have you written them down? Is the Holy Spirit giving you scriptural examples to study, research, and examine concerning your current situation? Is He giving you instructions on how to pray for your spouse? Then are you actually praying from love for your spouse — or through clenched teeth? Are you seeking to put Jesus above everything and everyone else? Or is pride, fear, and lust making your marriage difficult because they are not being managed correctly within you? Lust = never content, and always wanting more in all areas of your life. Is the Holy Spirit working on your inner character in the areas of humility, faith, and contentment? Is He asking you to be more grateful for what you have right now? Is He asking you to be satisfied with what you have right now? Is He asking you to be in the present with Him rather than dwelling on the past with possible supposed mistakes or pining or be worried for the future?
Are you currently single and desiring marriage? What is the Holy Spirit working on with you so that you will be ready? What character issues is He asking you to deal with? What about past ‘baggage’, wounds, or debt that needs to be taken care of? Are you working with the Spirit of God to become more like Jesus? Is the Holy Spirit being your Guide and Healer now?
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33
What are the ‘things’ meant here? Food, drink, and clothing. Your basic daily needs. He truly is your Source of all things. This should really speak to the ‘roots’ of our iniquities in our souls of pride, fear, and lust. Learn how to lean into Him for your ‘needs’, whether they are physical or emotional. This also applies to marriage. Who should be your Source and who are you actually looking to for those ‘needs’ to be met? This is the responsibility for both the husband and the wife. Are you aware today of what He is asking you to do with Him? Are you focused on meeting His wishes … this moment / day? Or is it still all about you?