The Father Wound

And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers… Malachi 4:6

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him. Proverbs 23:24

Fatherhood. Out of all the roles of the family I believe the enemies of God hate this one the most. Driven by hate the enemy is reminded of the heavenly Father whenever they see a loving dad doting on their children. It is a massive component in a child’s life that shapes and influences their understanding of everything. A ‘good’ dad can propel a child in a powerful direction in the purposes of God. 

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior

    are the children of one’s youth.

 Blessed is the man

    who fills his quiver with them! Psalms 127:4-5

But because of the fall of Adam and Eve … there is a ‘hole’ in the the soul of humankind and is in every human individual. A hole that is supposed to be filled with the very Presence of God. When we’re young we naturally look to our dads to fill that space within us. And for awhile that space is nurtured by Godly fathers. But eventually … dad isn’t enough to satisfy that aching ‘hole’ which … honestly can’t be satisfied by anything but the very Presence of God Himself. And the ‘father wound’ begins to grow within an individual, that can only be healed by the Spirit of God.  Unfortunately for so many children that father wound begins way too early in their lives as their own fathers have a massive father wound themselves and have not been completed in Christ. 

Jesus came to help us, save us, fill us, and to ‘complete’ us. 

He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. Matthew 3:11

The Holy Spirit is to fill that ‘Father created space’ within us. The Spirit of God works on healing our hearts and souls, and fills our need for His Presence… if we will let Him. Every dad also is working with their own upbringing and lack of parenting experience. So many today have had no examples to follow. It is the work of the Spirit of God to bring the hearts of the children back to their fathers and bring the hearts of the fathers back to their children.

In my own experience I had a very limited relationship with my own father … my father wound was grown from a lack of time and real relationship with him. It took me till I was 40 years old for the work of the Spirit of God to help me begin to heal that wound. The Spirit showed me my own dad at his childhood and I wept. I finally understood why he was the way he was. The Spirit led me to forgive him like I never had before. My heart changed towards him as I understood his own struggles to cope with his situation. Healing begins as you allow the Spirit to work on that ‘space’ within you.

So before this Father’s Day ask the Holy Spirit to show you your earthly father, and help you begin to forgive him for his shortcomings in raising you. Every dad falls short. We all cannot meet the standard the heavenly Father has set for us. We can come close — but only the Spirit of God can rectify and help our relationships grow in Him .. and heal us. Forgiveness is key in beginning the process, and the Spirit may bring your back to that point of forgiveness over and over as He delves deeply within your soul.

As a father myself — I know now that it is the greatest honor that God has given me. The greatest privilege was God presenting my wife to me as the person I was to love, protect, honor, and give my life for. God allowed me to see His heart through this family relationship (the family He created through my wife and I). So many lessons where I heard His heart and Voice say to me … “Now you know how I feel.” The first time that little helpless child (my son and daughter) was cradled in my arms — my heart was changed in ways I never knew existed. Now my children are adults and on their own paths. Still the ‘father’s’ heart in me prays for them daily. It aches to be with them and hold them close. Now the Father wound in me has changed. It no longer is about my own dad, but now it aches for my own adult children that they would also be healed of all my blunders as a dad. My heart aches hoping that they are continually growing in their own relationship with God. I ask for God to heal their hearts and fill that hole within them.

Jesus, my wife, my children, and now my grandchild. The people the Lord has given to me increases as I have been blessed by Him, that I need to pour out my life for, and give all that I have. The role of a man. It is greatly hated by the enemies of God. If you see those denigrating men in general you can know it is the work of the enemy that is behind it. That same hate is also focused on the role of the woman. We were made in His Image.

Don’t agree with the enemies of God, love your family. Ask the Holy Spirit for help and healing with those relationships.

Dad’s LOVE your children. Spend as much time with them as you can. Hug them, and tell them that you love them!