And when we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice saying to me in the Hebrew language, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ Acts 26:14
Do you ever read something in scripture and it pricks your curiousness? Or you wonder what the verse is referring to? Do you take the time to explore when that happens? Or are you too busy to search the thing out? “Kick against the goads.” Do you know what a ‘goad’ is? It has to do with the oxen they would use for work. It’s worth looking up, because it is more than you think it is. It can be very painful and cause blood if the oxen continue in their unwanted behavior. To be used in this situation — it had to refer to the many many times that the Holy Spirit had ‘warned’ Paul over and over but he continued to deny those promptings of warning. Although we don’t have scripture verifying that exact fact the implication is very strong by Jesus using that phrase. All who lived in that time knew what it meant. It was a tool to keep oxen in line, otherwise they would have painful ‘prick’ from the goad.
Saul was obviously a very stubborn individual. And if we look at his history throughout the book of Acts we can see he put up with way more than the average man. The amount of times he faced literally painful obstacles and punishments was astounding. God was now utilizing Paul’s stubbornness and ability to withstand pain for His purposes. I began to ponder this as I thought about Saul’s meeting on the road to Damascus and I’ve wondered what were the circumstances that brought Saul so quickly to understand who Jesus actually was when He appeared to Saul? The idea that he was under constant reminder by the Holy Spirit that he was going in the wrong direction and persecuting the wrong individuals — must have been quite a war in his mind and heart.
This whole scenario makes me think of the times that we don’t want to listen to God’s whispers of advice to us. We don’t want to deal with all those nagging prompts from the Holy Spirit letting us know we’re going in the wrong direction. How stubborn are we? Do we go as far as Saul did? To the point of painful blood letting before we acquiesce? That stubbornness trait in Paul even showed up in his relationship with Barnabas over their apprentice Mark. So much so we know Paul took Silas and Barnabas took Mark and they went their separate ways (Acts 15). But we also know that Paul got over that issue when he asked for Mark to be brought to him (2 Timothy4:11).
What causes us to lean into our stubbornness and deny the prompts and tiny whispers from the Spirit of God, that unsettledness that He gives that won’t let us alone but we still keep denying it? What root is it deep within us that needs to be dug out and exposed? When Jesus shows up — we know it’s Him because we recognize ‘that’ Voice. We know how tenacious the Lord Jesus is in going after His own.
What is that unwanted advice from the Lord that has been deep within your soul you’ve not wanted to listen to or accept? Oh that we would climb on His surgery table and ask Him to do what needs to be done.
Come Lord Jesus…