But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. 1 Samuel 1:15
Outward appearances aren’t always correct. Sometimes there are other reasons for the behavior the person is exhibiting. This last few days I’ve been a living example of a world spun from it’s axis. For one who has never had motion sickness these last two days has been a revelation. Any police officer would arrest me for a DUI. I couldn’t walk a straight line if my life depended on it. Day 1 was a severely extreme bought of vertigo. Whenever I wouldn’t attempt vertical my stomach would lose it’s contents. Day 2 I could stay vertical without my stomach rebelling but running into walls was unavoidable. Here I am in Day 3 I think the officer would still arrest me for driving erratically, as I still am unstable — but I’m able to sit here and write, which is amazing to me.
When all one can do is lay still with their eyes closed — life takes a whole different perspective. We wonder about what lies in store for us. A life of surrender isn’t new to this writer, you know this if you’re a regular reader. But having all of your balance removed and spinning the world so that you even feel it while your eyes are closed … makes you very aware how fragile you are, and how much you take for granted. It’s very hard to be prideful and full of yourself when you can barely function. I would often pray, “Okay Lord what now? I can’t do anything — who and what do I pray for?” Friends …even at our lowest point we can still pray. And we can still pray for others.
Do you know the Lord uses the weak things to show His glory and power? Have you experienced Him when you can barely function — and have Him prompt you to pray for others as He puts them in your mind? Don’t you know that it’s the little things that are important in a relationship? Communication when you are at your lowest is about as honest as you will get. What is your relationship with Him like in those moments? Can you hear Him well enough in those extreme low times to follow His lead to be concerned for someone else and pray for them? Honest, humble, heartfelt prayer is the conduit to a powerful move of God.
I wondered and pondered my usefulness to Him. Would He need to take me to this extreme lack of existence and ability before I could pray this way?
Lord… I humble myself before You. I am nothing without You. You ARE my balance. You ARE my heartbeat and breath. You are my health. Lord may you be glorified in me no matter what state I am in. Help me to be faithful in the smallest degree Holy Spirit. Lord it isn’t about my efforts but about Your life in me. I am SO so grateful for You!! You have blessed me so greatly! These days truly are Yours. Help me Holy Spirit to be useful to Him.