Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:12-14
Complaining? What value is there in it? Do you recognize when you are doing it? Complaining is rooted in bitterness and affliction. It is the human nature existing under Adam’s curse. We weren’t made to be in this state. When you find yourself complaining against another — do you first complain to God? Why? Do you recognize the lack of the fruit of the Spirit in your actions and words? Our immaturity and inability to endure in His love is showing. The next time you feel like complaining about your spouse — complain first to God about them, and wait for His response. Can you hear God’s rebuke? Gratefulness is a mature state in the midst of hardship and affliction. It comes from self discipline in the relationship arena. It comes from realizing the blessings God HAS already provided for you even though you are feeling disgruntled and uncomfortable. What does Paul say?
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. Philippians 4:11-12
Most people don’t even realize they have slipped into a habit of complaining. It may come from a sense of entitlement, or it may come from a twisted sense of trying to be ‘honest’ and spouting off our ‘feelings’ without checking them first with the Spirit of God. We need to be aware of how our complaining effects those around us. After listening to too much complaining others will just move away. Do you understand that most of all our expression, speech should be … gentle and loving? Sure there are those times when immediate loud forthright warning needs to be directed to express the immediate looming danger. But for 99% of all our speech and communication it needs to be filled with love and kindness from a heart of goodness.
We who are now desiring to be with God need to be aware of our bad habits when it comes to our speech and communication especially with those of our own household. We need to be constantly bringing all of our feelings and complaints before Christ to ask for His response that we need to model, so that the Spirit of God may make the changes He wants to make in us. Can it be said of you that in the most private of places and times your demeanor is one of gentleness and love …especially with your spouse or family?
Have you taught yourself to stop and consider before launching into complaining? Are you slow to complaint? Are you quick to hear the Spirit’s advice on the situation in front of you? Do you know that the right words spoken at the right time are healing and beautiful? Can the response the Spirit gives you bring healing and love to your spouse or family?
In the heat of an argument,
don’t betray confidences;
Word is sure to get around,
and no one will trust you.
The right word at the right time
is like a custom-made piece of jewelry, Proverbs 25:10-12
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20