Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say,
“The Lord is my helper;
I will not fear;
what can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:4-6
Hebrews chapter 13 is a wealth of instruction. But not so easy to carry out. How does one become strong in character and spirit? How does one work on becoming ‘bulletproof’ to the spiritual fiery projectiles shot at us by the enemy? What are the things that create wider gaps in our armor?
Sex and money. Possibly two of the biggest issues in a person’s life, certainly if you are married. These two things are the biggest cause of marital divorce, or I should say …the misuse of these two things. When these two issues are in harmony in both marriage partners the foundation of unity is made stronger. Yet — because these two issues go to the very core of the individual and touching the deep flaws of our character — communication about them is really avoided. Intimacy is shallow when secrets are kept. You may not even intend to keep secrets from your partner — but your practice is to shove difficult truths about yourself so deep — that you refuse to look at them yourself, and thus you obviously won’t won’t discuss them with your marriage partner. But those festering issues / baggage / wounds / fears are still remaining deep within your soul.
How does one heal? Courage. Bravery to drag them into the ‘Light’. A willingness to do the ‘hard’ thing and talk about them with your partner. Communication about the ‘messy’ things. Once it is exposed to the light — those issues immediately begin to shrink.
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. James 5:16
This takes tremendous bravery and courage. If you live long enough you will experience betrayal. And that experience will teach you how important trust is in a relationship. So choose wisely who you ‘confess’ to. Confess to those who already have a proven trustworthy track record and history with you.
I would encourage every married person to ask the Holy Spirit about these two issues and if there is anything He wants you to do about them. Can you follow His lead in these two areas? Can you give Him control in these two areas? True contentment will only be found when you can completely do that. You want real peace? Allow the Holy Spirit to help you clean out your closets. How is that done? Dragging those things into the light He exposes in your deepest areas of your soul. Then ask Him what to do with them.
Humility, gratefulness, and confession, the three legs of maturity.