Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit!” Nathanael said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” Nathanael answered him, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!” Jesus answered him, “Because I said to you, ‘I saw you under the fig tree,’ do you believe? You will see greater things than these.” And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.” John 1:47-51
Validation. How do we really receive it? I think is comes by really being ‘seen’. Jesus “saw” Nathanael for who he really was and spoke to Nathanael about his own heart. It was quite a statement Jesus made about Nathanael — someone in whom there is no deceit. Oh how we ALL want to be ‘seen’ by Jesus! The fact of the matter is … we ALL really are ‘seen’ by Jesus, the difference most likely is in what He would say about each of us. Nathanael KNEW he had been really ‘seen’ and KNEW immediately with Whom he was talking. The Chosen (Series show by Dallas Jenkins) did a really good job portraying this event between Nathanael and Jesus. Oh …that we might know too when the King of Kings is speaking to us and about us!
I think our feelings of validation can be stymied if we are looking for others for that validation instead of Jesus. We begin to move into the ‘fear of Man’ and look for acceptance from others rather than receiving from Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Is God your Source (validation, acceptance, love, self worth, financial safety, etc.) or not? Self reflection can easily explain quickly from where we are seeking our validation from… whether it be our spouse, or children, or friends, or spiritual leaders. If we are truly brave we ask the Holy Spirit to tell us where we are really seeking our validation from. Our job? The income we make? The accolades / likes / interaction we get from our social media accounts? Our spouses? Or from the status we’ve received through any of our endeavors? Our friends?
I think our desire to be validated or seen for who we really are — comes from the heart need of God. God WANTS relationship with us! He has a ‘need’ for relationship. Not in the human way but if He didn’t get broken hearted then you could say He has no need whatsoever. But God does have His heart broken by … us. Why? Because of His love and need for relationship with us. He made us to be loved by Him — and to be in love with Him. It’s our purpose.
When our spouses don’t really see who we are — we be can be greatly hurt and have our heart broken. Why? Because of the love we were made for. And in marriage — that relationship is the closest earthly example we have of intimacy with God. We WANT to be really ‘seen’ by our spouse / our love. But because we are human — it takes a lot of work to really ‘see’ our spouses and who they are. My suggestion? Ask the Holy Spirit who they are. Ask Him what He loves about them. Start being interested with what they do, and what they like. Ask questions and don’t assume. Yes… assumptions come hard and fast after a few years of marriage together. But we ALL are dealing with all sorts of things in our souls. Our souls can be a bit of a mess with wounds, emotions, feelings, and all sorts of crazy information. We need to be led by our spirit by the Spirit. The Holy Spirit letting us know what to know and how to navigate. The Holy Spirit advising our decisions. The Holy Spirit guiding our discussions and communication. He should be teaching you how to … listen. Learn the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).
Bottom line. THE ONLY validation we really need is from Jesus. All the rest won’t matter on an eternal scale. But we are human and still on this earth .. so we definitely NEED His help.
FYI. The Holy Spirit IS the Spirit of Jesus.