First Love

‘I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name’s sake, and you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent. Revelation 2:2-5

War. Attacks. Infiltrators. Hypocrites. Betrayers. False teachers. These things can wear you down. Constantly working to keep the integrity and name of Christ lifted up can be very tiring if you are doing it in your own power. Ephesus was a BIG Church community. They were very powerful in the movement of The Way. After studying the first century Ephesus — this letter is even more revealing and somewhat disheartening. As Ephesus was the ‘example’ in all of Asia. But Jesus is more concerned about real relationship than ‘correct’ religion. Our innocent child-like love of Jesus is very important. But now that I’m older and have some years being around the machinations of the institutional systems of the modern American Church — I can understand how Ephesus could easily slip into the mode of ‘doing Church’ business, rather than work on keeping that innocent love and adoration of Jesus.

The enemy works SO hard to keep us unbalanced in our walk with Jesus. The enemy wants us to be questioning everything and be doubtful and fearful. We set up things internally so we don’t get ‘burned’ again. Our wounds begin to make the decisions for us, rather than our love for Jesus. We begin to interpret every communication as suspect and an attack. We look at everyone as a possible enemy. We retreat into our internal bunkers hoping no more knives or arrows can reach us. But of course that’s not thinking spiritually — because within the spiritual realms we are nothing and totally vulnerable without the Holy Spirit’s protection.

The fruit of the Spirit is the measuring instrument of our words and actions. If you can line up all nine fruit of the Holy Spirit and your actions and words fit within their perimeters then you are most likely moving in the right direction. But with Jesus .. not only that .. but our heart has to be in the right place as well. Love has to be the real motivating force in ALL that we do. Not just any love but agape love, the love that comes from God alone. We have to be SO plugged into the Holy Spirit that we no longer react to the person or situation that has seemingly ‘hurt’ us. We have to be able to hear His gentle words OVER all the screams of the enemy telling us to ‘ATTACK’! We have to be able to hear His words of correction to us — when we’ve reacted poorly, and repent. This should become our regular practice and humility. We must learn to listen to Him in the moment rather than enact our procedures of ‘self-protection’.

Where we have to fight …is within our own selves to keep that innocent first love of Jesus in our hearts and minds, guided gently by the Presence of the Holy Spirit. And believe me — it is a fight – as the enemy wants to condition us into certain patterns utilizing our own flesh nature of self protection. What does it really mean to be in complete submission to Him? For me — He continually shows me that I have farther to go … 

This is the fight. 

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